#WIPpet Wednesday –

Before I go any further, I want to apologise for not being a good WIPpeteer and visiting many of you last week. I had a super productive weekend, and usually productive weekends include visiting WIPpets, but this week it was more devoted to cleaning up the spare room so one can actually sit on the sofa in there.

amcfbannerSecondly, I wanted to say how chuffed I felt after reading all your comments about how you love Cait and Felipe and could never get sick of them. Because sometimes when I’m writing WIPpet posts, I feel like I’ve been posting from their story forever and that you’re all thinking, “Just publish the thing already!” Which you may be thinking anyway, but in a more positive way. 😀 Well, good news there, I finished my final round of edits last night!!! Now I just need to format it, and get back to the wonderful Kathi regarding a cover – as well as possibly splurge on some stock photos next payday – and then…! It’s not quite the August release date I had in mind, but you know, I’m really more interested in the fact that I will have published a book rather than exactly when it happens.

Speaking of that, though, would anyone who beta read a previous draft be willing to read over a particular scene and give me some comments in light of the edits Edy made on it? Because there was one part where he was saying that Cait really needed to respond in a certain way, and I was like, “… but how?” I couldn’t really figure out what she might say to give this reaction. And to me, it’s fine as it is, so I just wanted a few other opinions on it. I say people who have read a previous draft because it’s a fairly major scene so a) context will help and b) it’s also fairly spoilery.

Since I’ve been focusing on edits this week and haven’t written anything new, I’ll stick to AMCF for WIPpet Wednesday this week. This scene is early on, during the festival that’s taking place when all the visiting royals are there to find Felipe an appropriate wife. Cait and her sister Ginny have been hanging out with Ava, Guy and Bridget (Guy’s the one Cait fancies, Ava’s her best friend and Bridget is Ginny’s age). My WIPpet math was going to be 1+7 (the date) = 8 paragraphs, except I didn’t actually count properly, and it’s really only five… so… 1+4 (from 2014) = 5 will do.

It was when they were considering what to purchase for lunch that Ava and Cait ended up separated from Guy and their sisters. Ava and Cait were inspecting the options from a man selling noodle dishes, but when they turned around, Guy, Bridget and Ginny seemed to have been completely swallowed up by the crowd.

“They were just over there!” exclaimed Ava, pointing to the stall where the other three had been looking at food. “Where could they possibly have gone?”

“It’s all right,” said Cait, briefly trying to figure out a way to balance her plate of food in one hand so she could put the other on Ava’s shoulder. She gave up on that idea and instead simply said, “I’m sure they’ll be fine. Maybe they couldn’t see us through the crowd and thought we’d wandered off. Guy will look after them. And they know where to meet us at the end of the night, so they’ll find us there if not before. Come on, let’s go and find somewhere to sit and eat.”

There was an area with tables set aside nearby. As it was the middle of the day, it was crowded, but Ava and Cait timed their arrival to snap up a table just as a husband and wife vacated it. Cait wanted to savour her meal – the noodles and vegetables had been cooked in a spicy sauce she’d never tasted before and she wanted to make it last – but she and Ava agreed they should eat as quickly as possible to free up the table again. After Cait assured Ava a second time that Ginny and Bridget would be fine, they decided to go and wander some more of the attractions.

Truth be told, Cait was actually worried about Ginny, and hoped she was still with Guy. There was little chance of them running into the others in these crowds, though, so she was hoping for the best. Before they had parted ways with their parents, they had arranged a meeting spot for the end of the day’s festivities so they were certain of all making it home together. Cait simply crossed her fingers in hope that everyone would be reunited when the time came and there would be nothing to worry about.

To join in on WIPpet Wednesday, simply post an excerpt from your current WIP that somehow relates to the date, and then link it with the rest of us here. Thanks to K. L. Schwengel for hosting. 🙂 I’m going to head off now because it’s 9:30 and while I usually don’t go to bed til at least 10 or 10:30, I’ve had a long day of First Aid Refresher Training, so my brain is a bit fried. I did get 100% on the test at the end, so it’s likely I can keep people alive until paramedics arrive, which is comforting. Anyway. I was going.


13 thoughts on “#WIPpet Wednesday –

  1. rachelalsowrites says:

    I really enjoyed this excerpt! I don’t know if it’s because of the tragedy that recently occurred the Adelaide Show (where I live, a little girl was thrown from a ride and died), but I feel worried for Ginny and the others! I hope it’s just recent experience creating the sense of foreboding-ness!


  2. Amy says:

    Congratulations on finishing the final round of edits! That’s HUGE.

    I definitely sympathize with Cait here–it would be scary to lose track of someone like that, especially if you’re the responsible party.


  3. Elaine Jeremiah says:

    That’s great news, Emily! Glad you’re so close to publication, that’s really exciting. 🙂

    Nice excerpt – just one little thing I noticed: ‘to go and wander some more of the attractions’ doesn’t quite make sense to me. Maybe ‘to go and wander through/past some more of the attractions’?

    Looking forward to reading the finished book soon! 🙂


  4. Amelia E. Browne says:

    I really enjoyed this excerpt and it created a sense of foreboding really well. The only thing I would say is that the very first line might not be necessary as you then show that action in the next few sentences. 🙂


  5. shanjeniah says:

    I want to sample Cait’s noodles; they sound delicious!

    And send that scene on to me; I’ll happily read it through and offer my opinion! How exciting that you’re getting so close! =D


  6. kathils says:

    Okay, so now I’m hungry. ;p Great scene. I love the way Cait is trying to have fun and convince herself everyone is fine, while deep down she’s still worried and just doesn’t want to say it out loud.


  7. Ruth Nestvold says:

    Congrats on finishing the most recent round of edits! I did find a couple of nits in this snippet you might want to consider: the repetition of “find” in the third par, and the multiple repetitions of forms of “hope” in the last par. Hope that helps!

    Nice sense of foreboding here. Scarey losing someone in a crowd like that.


  8. sirenarobinson says:

    Emily, hopefully you remember doing this, but you offered to do a review for me a couple weeks ago and I can’t find your email anywhere. I need to know what e-book format you prefer to get the books in. Thanks!


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