You know how two WIPpet Wednesdays ago, I was bothered by how to make Felipe seem affected by his brother’s death, but not too sympathetic? I figured out a way to do that, namely, by ending the scene about halfway through what I had written. He reacts quite strongly at first, and became more vulnerable later, but there was a spot I could stop when he was still being cranky. Thanks for your suggestions on that. The idea that the way he dealt with the news and treated others in the light of it was something a few of you brought up and was what made me take this direction.
In today’s WIPpet, which takes place at the end of the first day of the big festival at the start of the novel, Ava and Cait are trying to convince their respective younger sisters, Bridget and Ginny, that they did meet Prince Felipe that afternoon. Ginny is annoyed at me at the moment because originally she got to meet him in that scene as well, but now that Ava’s part of things, I decided to swap them.
“Did you really meet him?” Bridget asked.
“We did,” Ava said. “It seemed he was running away from meeting princesses.”
“And what did he think of you two?” Guy asked.
“He said we were charming,” Cait replied with a quirked eyebrow.
“He didn’t even seem to mind when Cait started scolding him,” Ava added.
“Cait!” Ginny moaned. She looked mortified, as though Cait insulting the prince might have blackened her own name in some way.
“Well, that certainly sounds like Cait,” Guy replied. “No man is safe.”
That’s my girl. 🙂
Question: does it feel like there are too many dialogue tags in here? I can’t really see any other way to do it, since there are five of them talking, unless I mention actions as well. They’re not really doing much, though; just standing around waiting for their parents to come and meet them.
In other news, I’ve made a tentative goal of working through two chapters of revision each week. They’re not really long chapters, so I think I should be able to manage this. That’ll give me a completion date of around the end of May (approximately). I’m hoping to commit to A Round of Words in 80 Days again when Round 2 starts next month, and this will be my main goal for that as well.
Anyhoo, I think I might leave this here for today and head off. To join in on WIPpet Wednesday, simply post an excerpt from your current WIP that somehow relates to the date, and then hop on over to My Random Muse and join us on the linky. Catch you all soon! 😀