Mmm – Amusing Quotes and Some Panto

I was planning on posting these some time anyway, and Music and Mirth Monday seemed like as good a place as any. During NaNoWriMo and also during my writer’s group write-ins, I tend to make a note of amusing things that get said randomly. Usually I don’t make a note of the context because it’s more fun that way. I post them on my NaNo profile page during November, but I lost my 2011 ones when the site reset for 2012. Hence I need to put these ones somewhere safe before I forget and October comes around again. So without further ado, and apologies for some of the bad language:

“This is much more exciting, we’re straight to the whipping!”

“She’s already bumped into Gareth because, fuck, does that boy like to write himself into scenes!”

“Why would you do that to a cupcake?”
“It’s like a cherry on top! But blue! And a berry!”

“I saw a documentary about this, once. It was called ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’.”

“I refuse to be cowed by my spell checker!”

“I’m surprised by how many NaNoWriMo conversations I have turn out to be about Wincest.”

‘Yeah, bringing fire into a library is a great idea.”

“Would Wincest be the Democrat or the Republican in our conversational election?”

“Fun fact: Kermit the Frog is actually the Hulk, he’s just always angry. He started out as a normal frog and then he was exposed to gamma radiation, and now whenever he’s intellectual, he goes, “GRRRR KERMIT.”

“… because I decided that this year, I wasn’t going to make stuff up, I’m going to use… facts.”
“Wow, you and I, like… live in different worlds.”

“I am perfectly willing to be the crazy lady who jumps in dumpsters.”

“And I was like, ‘That’s STUPID… all right’.”

“… but that’s a whole other kettle of fish.”
“Why are there fish in your kettle?”
“Why AREN’T there fish in YOUR kettle?”

“You mother hasn’t got a soul.”
“That’s a bit harsh, my mother isn’t even a wranger.”
“It’s funny because I actually thought you said meringue.”
“If your mother was a meringue, an argument could be made for her not having a soul.”

“I hear that in Newcastle, the cats all come pre-captioned. And the cheezburgers flow like rain.”

“I can’t hear you over my monocle.”

‘If there was a show called ‘So You Think You Can Bullshit’… you would be the star.”

“Sell your car… and buy candy!”

“Dreadlocks… commonly mistaken for penises.”

“I need to create this emotional attachment to these characters… so I can have them drown.”

“Should the word ‘shitbag’ be hyphenated?”

‘WHAT ON EARTH IS A FOG-FARTING MACHINE?!” (this was one person’s description of a bus… clearly that was not obvious to the person reading it).

As for music: I spent today looking up whatever clips I could find of the annual pantos that John Barrowman performs in over December-January. I was discussing Christmas with my friend Glenn, who is also going to be in the UK at this time, and we said we might spend it in Glasgow and go see this year’s (“Dick McWhittington”). This was one fun clip I found from the 2011 panto, “Robinson Crusoe and the Caribbean Pirates”.

And now I go back to drinking my lemon-honey drink because I have a cold, and watching whatever episode I’m up to of a random Kiwi teen drama from 1999 called “The Tribe”. It’s set in a post-apocalyptic world where all of the adults have died due to some mysterious virus and so it’s the kids having to survive. And it’s kind of hilarious and melodramatic and half the older characters have sort-of American accents and the younger ones are just all quite clearly from New Zealand, but actually deals with issues kind of well? And the episodes are only 20 minutes long, so you can sit down for a bit and suddenly you’ve watched 10 episodes and lost an afternoon. So yes, Imma go do that.

~ Emily


One thought on “Mmm – Amusing Quotes and Some Panto

  1. L. Marie says:

    Hope you feel better soon!
    This quote cracked me up: ““… because I decided that this year, I wasn’t going to make stuff up, I’m going to use… facts.”
    John Barrowman came to the States awhile ago and I unfortunately missed him.


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