#WIPpet Wednesday – from Felipe’s POV(ish)

Hello, WIPpeteers! And other readers of my humble blog. Today is WIPpet Wednesday again, when a group of bloggers come together to post a sample of their current WIP. The only rule is that it somehow correlates to the date (June 19 = 19 lines/sentences/paragraphs, something from Chapter 19, etc). Since I’ve been talking about it in my last couple of posts, here is 19 sentences from that scene. Felipe is escaping to shirk his royal duties.

wippetwednesday

“All right, I’m ready now!” he called out and the guard pushed open the door just in time to see the prince’s head disappear as he climbed down the trellis outside.

“Your Highness!” the guard exclaimed, running to the window and leaning over the windowsill. Prince Felipe looked up at him from halfway down and grinned.

“If the public get to enjoy all the fun at a festival being held in my honour, why should I miss out?” he shouted up to the guard. “Tell Her Highness I apologise for my absence at lunch!”

As he continued to climb, he heard a clamour as the first guard was joined for a couple of others who blamed him for the prince’s escape, and then the argument as they decided how best to deal with the situation. Prince Felipe knew from experience he had about seven minutes before the guards would get downstairs, find their colleagues and organise a proper search. By then, he could be well and truly blended into the crowds that were flooding onto the grounds for the festival.

Sometimes he wondered why the trellis outside his window was never removed; he never made any effort to hide the fact that he was making use of it. Perhaps his parents didn’t mind because it gave the men in their employ something to do other than just take shifts protecting the palace grounds. Either way, Prince Felipe certainly enjoyed the chase and wasn’t going to complain as long as he was able to keep doing it and getting away with it.

He jumped the last little distance to the ground and raised the hood of his cloak over his head. As he began walking away, he recognised the blond maid who was working in the garden as one he often chatted to when he was out like this, and gave her a friendly punch on the shoulder as he passed. She started but then grinned as she turned and saw who it was.

The prince turned so he was walking backwards, and grinned back at her. “Send them in the wrong direction for me, won’t you?”

“As always,” she replied.

“That’s my girl!” Prince Felipe waved and then turned around and broke into a jog towards the rows of tents and pavilions ahead of him. He slipped between two of them and wove himself in amongst the crowds of people on the other side.

What do you guys think? I would hang around and discuss it more, but it’s nearly 11pm and I was going to be in bed at least an hour ago. But I got distracted by TV and then, to quote my housemate, “we became angry feminists and forgot about bedtime.”  As for ROW80, I haven’t written much the last couple of days, however I’m hosting the write-in with my writing group tomorrow night, so hopefully I’ll round out the round with some good progress! And now, goodnight!

~ Emily

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14 thoughts on “#WIPpet Wednesday – from Felipe’s POV(ish)

  1. Alana Terry says:

    Haha, what a flirt! If I didn’t know he was about to meet someone “special,” I’d be wondering about him and the maid! I love how playful and – yes – charming you make him!

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  2. kathils says:

    Felipe, what a guy. I love his playful, carefree attitude and how he obviously enjoys keeping the guard on their toes. He’s my kind of guy, prince or no prince.

    Like

  3. Eden says:

    I liked Felipe, most every part of him. The punch on the shoulder, however playfully meant, didn’t quite feel right. I know it was meant to be a “good buddies” thing, but it didn’t ring true to my ear. Then again, I’m not writing Felipe….

    And yeah, why do they leave that trellis there? 😀

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    • Emily Witt says:

      I actually completely agree with you about the punch. It’s one of those things where I can see very clearly in my head what he’s doing, but I don’t really know how to put into words what he’s doing? I guess, it’s more of a playful bat or something, or even just a poke as he goes past, so she looks up to the side where he was and then realises he’s already on her other side, one of those situations, if that makes sense? So I went with “punch” because it was far less wordy, but it will definitely be something I try to figure out and alter in subsequent takes on this scene.

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      • Eden says:

        Poke works.. And if you don’t like that, maybe you can use the extra words for a bit more character building or foreshadowing.

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  4. Sarah says:

    I’ve got to agree with Eden, while the shoulder punch was probably meant with good comaradarie, it doesn’t seem very gentlemanly, a trait I am sure has been shoved down his nose. Maybe he could tap her on one shoulder and duck around to the other side? Something a little less masculine? *shrugs* Only a suggestion. I do like his playful, teasing personality, though. 🙂

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  5. Raewyn Hewitt says:

    Love it – especially the comment about the trellis. Why didn’t his parents take it down – LOL. You give a great sense that he’s done this more than once, and everyone seems to humour him!

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  6. Kate Frost says:

    I love the idea of the trellis being left so the guards have something to do by chasing after Felipe. He’s a likeable flirt and I really enjoyed this scene from his POV.

    Like

  7. Adrian says:

    haha he has SO done this many many MANY times before! I could tell that even before he wondered why the trellis wasn’t removed. Love getting into his thought process as he runs away.

    Like

  8. Christina Olson says:

    That was a fun scene, but I second the chorus to change the punch to a tap instead – which is actually something my husband tries to pull with me from time to time. It never works to his chagrin 🙂

    Like

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