Only a short little story from me today. We had a section lunch so I didn’t have as much writing time as I’d have liked at work, and I’m out again tonight and not sure what time I’ll be home, so. Last night I was lying in bed and struck with sudden inspiration, wrote down “The one where cats take over the world and speak in lolspeak because it’s all they know.” This ended up being shorter and less funny than I initially intended, but like I said, lack of time today.
Is your cat acting weird?
No more so than usual. I think.
Just… go check.
My friends and I always joked about how our cats were secretly plotting to kill us but these couple of text messages seemed a bit more foreboding than our usual conversations on the subject.
I found my cat sitting on my laptop keyboard. This wasn’t unusual; it was a warm spot and he often sat there until I would kick him off to use it. What was a bit strange, though, was the way he pointedly looked from me to the computer screen, as if trying to draw my attention to it. l looked closer; the screen was blue and a message was flashing in the middle of it:
WE R REDY. R U?
I looked back at the cat. He was giving me that “I could kill you in my sleep” look. A small part of me was saying that it was ridiculous to think the cat had written the words on the screen but the rest of me was thinking of something else my friends and I always joked about: that one day cats will probably take over the world.
The lolspeak Message on my computer combined with the look the cat was giving me were combining to make me think maybe that day had come. Maybe the time of humans was over, and the time of the oats was about to begin.
Come join in the fun!
P.S. If you’re familiar with the Doctor Who spin-off, Torchwood and want to read a really funny story involving lolcats, check-out Trying To Communicate by Copperbadge, in which the Torchwood Hub is visited by an alien lolcat. I read it when it was first published and I still look it up from time to time.